Anyone out there looking for a moody adolescent skilled in door slamming and eye rolling? Because mom Ella Jane Brookbanks has one she'd love for you to take off her hands.
The British mom took to Facebook with a tongue-in-cheek classified ad looking to give away — for free! — her 14-year-old son to a "good, loving home."
Interested? He comes complete with some enticing accessories and added features, which Brookbanks has carefully detailed below:
My moody adolescent comes complete with a Nike cap that he keeps on 'forgetting' to remove when he's in the house, a tin of Famous Henry's hair gel, a crap phone with a cracked front screen, three pairs of identical black skinny jeans (each with their own gaping hole), a green jacket that smells of cheese & trainers that have seen better days — he also has a vintage pull string (like Woody from Toy Story) on the back that moans, huffs & puffs & complains about anything from having to shower, having to clean his room, having to put the bins out & not being allowed to stay up late — because he's such a sloth like mard arse every morning.
He is sold with only 1 complete outfit because he just doesn't agree with wearing anything else other than the torn & ripped skinny jeans & a green battered top from H&M (and the cap) — but he does come with gel for ever changing hairstyles & 2 alternating skate boards for 'Happy play days at multistory' & 'Moody play days at The Carrs' — teenager will find it difficult to express which skateboard he his preferring at any given time — and this will be your problem.
Qualities include door slamming, wearing battered looking trainers in the house, spending more time on his hair than his showers, mood swings, not having the energy to hoover his room but having the energy to skateboard.
He is polite enough but be wary about taking him out in public — because although he is used to people, you never can tell whether he'll have a good enough social response to any situation — a soft grunt now covers most basic conversations — followed by the dreaded eye roll.
Although it doesn't look like she's gotten any serious inquiries yet, her post is destined to go viral.