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What I Say When Someone Asks Me If I'm Having More Kids

I'm Sick of People Asking When I'll Have Another Baby — Our Family Is Perfect as Is

Photographer: Evan Kheraj Restrictions: Editorial and internal use only. No advertising or print allowed.

About one year after my husband and I got married, I gave birth to our first baby, a healthy little girl. About two and a half years later, I gave birth to our second baby, another healthy girl. And about a year after that, the unwarranted questions and comments from family and friends began about Baby Number 3 — and have continued up until today. My husband and I always knew we only wanted to have two kids, and once our second baby was born, we quickly realized two is all we can handle.

"Two girls! Don't you want to try for a boy?" is the main question we get. And all I have to say is: Nah, I'm good. Having two girls has been extremely convenient, because we have been able to reuse just about everything — especially the girly clothes and toys. Besides, we are very close to our two nephews . . . literally. We live less than a mile away from them and we see them multiple times a week, so I get my "baby boy fix" from them. And frankly, I don't know how I would handle having a son. I've had almost 10 years of experience raising daughters now, so braids, ballet shoes, and Barbie dolls are all I really know — and I'm OK with that.

"But what about passing down your family name?" is usually the next question people pose. My husband was the only male born in his family. He doesn't have any brothers or male cousins to carry on his family's last name: Margolis. If our daughters take their husband's last name when they get married, that will be end of Margolis for my husband's entire family. Passing down family names can be a big deal in some families, but after our second daughter turned 1 year old, I asked my husband how he felt about it and he said he didn't care. This was a huge relief for me, because I wasn't sure if I could handle a third baby. I could just picture it: a couple with two daughters tries for a boy and ends up giving birth to triplet girls!

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Then people often feel the need to comment, "Aww, but you already have two kids. What's one more?" A lot, my dear friend. The responsibilities, expenses, and care that come with having kids is no joke. My husband and I have had to find ways to budget our money better and cut costs, so that we can afford to give our two children a great life. If we brought another baby into this world, I feel like we wouldn't be able to give him or her the kind of life he or she deserved. We are huge Disney fans and we like to take fun family vacations to Disneyland at least once a year. With a third child, I don't think we could afford it. We have also started putting money aside for our children's college fund. With a third child, each child's college fund would be smaller. And explaining all that is usually enough to get people to stop asking questions.

While babies are a true blessing and bring so much joy to families, it is safe to say that my husband and I are happy and content with our family of four. Buttoning up cute little onesies and changing diapers are all in the past for us now. And while admitting that part of my life is over does break my heart a little, I have so much to look forward to with my two daughters — now and in the future.

Image Source: POPSUGAR Photography / Evan Kheraj
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