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How to Talk to Girls About Their Bodies at Every Age
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Ages 9-12

  • Emphasize health and not diets or weight: Focus the dialogue on learning healthy habits and how to have a strong body instead of emphasizing dissatisfaction over specific attributes.
  • Encourage activity for a strong body, not for losing weight: Your daughter should know that strength is power and that she should work out and play sports because they bring her joy and condition her body. If she views working out as a punishment for her size or as the only way she can look like a magazine cover, she may develop an unhealthy relationship with physical activity.
  • Start the conversation early: Your child's body will start undergoing changes before she starts her period, and it's important to start the conversation at a young age. This will ensure that she knows that these changes are normal, is as prepared as possible instead of scared when they start, and already feels comfortable talking to you about them.
  • Stick to the present and not the future: Part of teaching your daughter to love her body is helping her to see how wonderful she is now, just the way she is. Instead of focusing on what could be, like when her chest fills in or whether she loses a few pounds, make sure that she appreciates her body at every stage.
  • Don't compare: It doesn't matter if her friend is an early or late bloomer, big or small, athletic or uncoordinated — avoid comparing your daughter to her friends. Not only can this cause her to see her friend in a new light, but it also adds pressure to your child and encourages them to view themselves against this criteria.
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