Between the way they discipline the kids to how they let dishes pile in the sink, there are certainly things about your partner that might irritate you. But for just one day, operate by the golden rule: if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. The only words you should utter should be affirmative ones. “The more loving and positive things you can say about your partner, the more they will inhabit this place in themselves,” Kim said. “And it also keeps your gaze on seeing what’s amazing about them, rather than looking at the negative.”
The same goes for when you are chatting with friends with whom you’d normally vent your frustrations. Resist the urge to complain about your partner and instead say something kind. According to Kim, if you do it enough, it’s habit-forming: “what you focus on grows.”
