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OK, I know this one is tough and not always possible. When my son is having a tantrum, hitting, or being hysterical about something, I try to stay calm instead of yelling at him to stop. I try to speak to him and say "I hear you" or "I see that you're frustrated." Helping him to communicate his feelings in the moment is important. It doesn't end the tantrum immediately, but he also doesn't get the reaction and attention he was hoping for either. I've found this method helps him get through the whole experience faster.