You got yourself some slick new running shoes, put on a sweet little running outfit, got your headphones, and made a killer playlist, but nothing — NOTHING — prepared you for the first side cramp, shin splint, loss of any and all ability to breathe, lungs on fire . . . and complete and total anguish. Although it is a fraught memory, we'd like to think of our first run as a humorous one, and at least get a few laughs out of the experience.