For More, finding her confidence and sexuality again wasn't easy, and there are still some everyday activities that are not what they used to be. But she's very open about the process of reconnecting with her body — here is a list of tips from her:
- Stop comparing your body to what it was before: "When anything really traumatic happens to your body, you want to go back to how you were before, and the reality is you're forever changed," More said. "You have to find a way to merge who you were with who you were meant to become. Once you find that, you stop comparing."
- Find a community: More was able to feel empowered to regain confidence by being with her fellow Breasties, many of whom went through similar surgeries.
- Rip the Band-Aid off when it comes to dating: More describes herself as a go-getter and said that though she felt almost "unworthy," she had worked so hard to get comfortable with her body on her own that she needed to push herself to take a chance with other people. "I learned that if you own who you are and you own your story and you own your body and you own your scars, people do not have a choice but to accept you for who you are." Essentially, she said, you're teaching people how to treat you.
- Find new ways to enjoy your body: More doesn't feel the same sexually, but she said that one of the most crucial lessons she's learned over the years is that she still deserves pleasure. Start slow, she said. Light a candle, put on some sensual music, get body oils, and experiment with what feels good, she advised.
- Spend time naked: More said seeing yourself in the mirror and really examining your "new" body is helpful. "Look at your body and say nice things out loud," she suggested.
More stressed that reconnecting with your body in the face of numbness, and post surgery in general, is a long process. "This is the rest of your life that you have, so it's a marathon," she said, "and don't expect to just fall in love with your body overnight. It takes time, and you have to get to know your body again."
Editor's Note: At POPSUGAR, we recognize that people of many genders and identities have breasts and ovaries, not just those who are women. For this particular story, the experts we talked to and research we cited generally referred to people with breasts and ovaries as women, and those we interviewed regarding their surgeries all identified as such.
