Blender Lemonade Is Fake News — Don't Try It!

I'm all for a great recipe hack. Cooking red wine in spaghetti? Awesome. Two-minute iced coffee? Totally works. Blender lemonade, on the other hand, does not. The Pinterest phenomenon calls for blending a whole lemon with a few tablespoons of sugar, ice, and water. "No squeezing required!" bloggers promised. Pictures of those frozen lemonade slushies looked so enticing and rewarding during Summer months, when the hot weather turns us all into lazy nincompoops. I, too, find myself avoiding "laborious" processes like juicing lemons and suddenly begin to turn every drink into a slushie. I had to have this blender lemonade. I needed this hack to work.

Unfortunately, my first and second go-around were not successful. Despite blending and blending and blending, the slushie remained very pulpy. That white pith did not break down and every sip tasted as fibrous as a green smoothie. The flavor starts shockingly tart. I yelped when I first tried it and shuddered when I swallowed it. The lemonade literally leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. I tried more ice, more tablespoons of sugar, and even a splash of lemon extract, but nope, there was no saving this beautiful-looking but horrible-tasting lemonade.

I'll continue to turn to Beyoncé's lemonade recipe and try blending that with ice before I ever attempt a whole-lemon lemonade again. Remember, the saying goes, "Turn lemons into lemonade," not "blended lemons."