"All you need to get a date is another date." We have all heard this beyond frustrating phrase while experiencing a dating drought.
When you are the single person on the receiving end of this you want to know who the eff came up with this phrase and punch them in the face, because, in actuality, it makes no sense. How can you get a date in order to get another date, when you can't even get a date to begin with?! If it were that easy to get not just one date, but two, wouldn't you not need this stupid phrase at all? Did you follow that?
However, if you have a date set up in your near future, then this phrase makes absolute sense because you're now on the receiving end of not just one, but multiple date invitations out of the blue.
Let me introduce you to a dating phenomena I have held close to my dear little heart since I was a teen called "the scent." Much like the most hated phrase that opened this article, to have "the scent" you need to have a date or any kind of new love interest.
The scent (noun): An aura given off when you have a date or are newly dating someone, which results in former flames, crushes, dates, random strangers, etc. all popping out of the effing woodwork to ask you out or to just "catch up."
Scent is our strongest trigger of memory, so this term couldn't make more sense (pun intended).
When you have "the scent" it's almost as if the universe put your smell in the noses of your past relationships or almost relationships. Out of the blue, these former flames get some kind of intuition that you might be off the market soon. Just like that, boom, they reach out, and they feel like they have to act now or forever hold their peace. All it takes is one date or new fling and suddenly your phone is ringing off the hook with options.
It really is not all that hard to understand the genesis of this dating phenomena and its undeniable truth. It centers around the widely known fact that we all want what we can't have. Especially when it comes to the world of love. There is no greater ego boost or feeling of euphoria than going out with someone who the whole town seems to desire. We all want that feeling.
When you are single AF and completely dateless, you reek of availability. You are SO available that it oozes desperation out of every single pore on your body. When you are out trying to find a date, anyone can smell it from a mile away. To guys and girls alike, this desperation is a huge turn off.
We want what we can't have, and we never want anything that comes too easily.
If you think about it, you have probably met at least one person in your life who was desperate for a relationship, so much so that you could tell the minute you met them. You could sense their need for more from the beginning of your conversation as they bombarded you with affections, questions, and interest. Similarly, we all have had a friend who has been desperate to find a date for what feels like years, yet despite their aggressive efforts they haven't even found one.
On the flip side of this, you can immediately tell when you meet someone if they are enjoying the dating game and living the single life with options for days. You can smell their laid-back confidence that they aren't banking their entire relationship status and happiness on who they might meet that night or the next.
We want what we can't have, and we never want anything that comes too easily. So when you have even one date, one text or sext buddy, even one person to flirt with consistently, the subliminal desperation smell is gone, and poof! You seem like a more attractive option.
Sure, "the scent" might be equally as frustrating as "you only need a date to get another date," yet there is a silver lining and a game plan hidden in these phrases. Stow away your desperation for a night, wash away your scent, try to not give a f*ck about dating for awhile, and see what happens. If all else fails, go on that awkward fix up that you've been putting off for months, I promise it will help.
If all else fails, just hope you'll meet someone with a muted sense of smell.