7 Tips to Spice Up Missionary Sex

If there's any sex position out there that truly gets a bad rap, it's missionary. Though many people look at it as being the snooze-fest of sex positions, it's really the unsung hero of love making.

Not only is the missionary sex position great for intimacy (hello, eye contact and sexy neck kisses), but it's also incredibly versatile. You can do it pretty much anywhere or on any surface, and you don't need to be incredibly flexible or bendy to do it. Plus, it's easy to incorporate some kink into it, too, depending on your preferences.

That's the reason it's Rachel Bilson's favorite position, at least. As she says, she loves to be "manhandled," and missionary is the best position to do that in.

But if you're still not sold on the pleasures of the missionary-style sex position, it could just be because you're simply not doing it right. So don't give up on missionary just yet. According to experts, here's how to make missionary your most orgasmic position yet.

What Is the Missionary Sex Position?

In this standard sex position, the receiving partner lies flat on their back and spreads their legs, and the other partner holds themselves on top, so they're face to face, and penetrates the first partner. But the best part is that this sex position can be enjoyed by all, says clinical psychologist Lisa Lawless, PhD, CEO of Holistic Wisdom. "It can be performed by any gender by using a penis or strap-on dildo to penetrate one's partner either vaginally or anally," she says.

For many people, the missionary sex position is comfortable and accessible. "It allows the top partner to control the pace, depth, and angle of penetration without requiring advanced skills or flexibility," Lawless adds.

It also feels good, because it gives you each full access to all your partners' most sensitive erogenous zones. It provides "access to the clitoris through stimulation by the pelvic bone, fingers, or sex toys for the receiving partner, which is ideal for achieving orgasm," Lawless says. The same is true if the partner on bottom has a prostrate instead of a clitoris. Plus, you can each touch each other's necks, mouths, hips, and other personal hot spots, with your hands or mouths.

Missionary doesn't always have to happen in a bed, either. It can happen in the shower during shower sex, in the backseat of a car, or really anyplace your horny heart desires. You can also adjust the position with pillows, sex toys, and different leg positions, Lawless says.

And don't get me started on all the missionary variations out there. OK, fine, I'll get started.

Missionary Sex Position Variations

Whoever said the missionary sex position is boring clearly hasn't tried one of the very many variations missionary offers. According to Dr. Lawless, here are some of the more common ones:

Legs Over the Shoulder. Just as it sounds, in this variation, the receiving partner puts their legs over the penetrating partner's shoulders. "It allows for deeper penetration and a different stimulation angle," Dr. Lawless says.

The Leg Wrap. Yes, the receiving partner wraps their legs around their partner's lower back or waist or their own legs to "pull them closer," Dr. Lawless says.

The Coital Alignment Technique. If you're a fan of the Netflix series "Sex/Life," you may remember this technique mentioned in the first season. As described by Dr. Lawless, "the penetrating partner slides their body upward to align their pelvis with the receiving partner's pelvis. This increases clitoral stimulation during penetration by allowing the clitoris to be rubbed and stimulated by the penetrating partner's pelvic bone."

Standing Missionary. There are two ways to do the standing missionary variation. The first way: the receiving partner slides their butt to the end of the bed (or whatever surface), and the penetrating partner stands and enters them. The second way: while face to face, the penetrating partner holds their partner up against a wall and penetrates them while standing. The latter definitely requires some arm strength, so if you're looking for a lazy sex position, that one is likely not the move for you.

Missionary Sex Position Tips

Try the pillow method. For some, missionary's greatest design flaw is the lack of clitoral stimulation that comes with straight-up spread-eagle sex. It's hard to reach down and touch yourself when your partner's abdomen is squishing you and the pelvis is too far down to rub against. Enter, the pillow method. Take two to three pillows, and place them under your butt for some extra elevation. This will allow your partner to hit your G-spot and give you the ability to rub your clit.

Engage the nipples. Nipple play isn't for everyone, but for some, nipple suction or squeezing during sex can take it from a merely pleasurable experience to an explosive orgasm. In missionary, your partner has easy access to your nipples. And since you are on your back and don't require any balance, you can reach up and tease your own nips.

Avoid jackhammering. Instead of going straight to Pound Town, slow down the sex. You want to concentrate on everything that's happening to your body. You don't have to choose slow sex every time you bang, but enjoying the change of pace can be the thing you need to come.

Up the intimacy. Light some candles, put on your sex playlist, and passionately kiss your partner while you feel their weight on top of you. Sometimes that's all you need to achieve orgasm.

Introduce a little light bondage. Don't be afraid to add in some handcuffs. Have your partner secure your hands above your head. This will give you the feeling of being totally consumed and ravished, which for some is very sexy. Of course, always establish a safe word like "red" or "pineapple" before sex just in case you want to halt play at any time and for any reason.

Practice deep, mindful breathing. Lie back, and breathe deeply. Feel the way the air fills and leaves in your body. The rush of oxygen can help you feel more relaxed and present, therefore helping you feel calm enough to let go and orgasm.

Bring a sex toy into the mix. Though it may be hard to stimulate your clitoris if your partner is lying on top of you, if they stay on their knees and sit upright, that gives you time to give your clitoris some attention. Try using your fingers or a mini massage wand.

— Additional reporting by Gigi Engle