You’ve probably heard this analogy before, but maybe not the full version. The crucial part of that comparison is that if a first date is like a job interview, then you must establish yourself as the employer. That’s something I learned between my long bout of singlehood at age 26 and my recent bout at age 31. Man, are those periods like night and day.
At 26, I was the interviewee, no doubt about it. I treated every date and every decent-looking dude in a flannel shirt at the bar as a potential employer — in other words, I was letting them do the choosing, all the while projecting an air of desperation that all but kills your chances in dating. Coming off desperate and eager is one thing in the job hunt, but in the man hunt? It might even surpass poor hygiene as the least desirable trait.
Now, at 31, with more road behind me, I have settled comfortably into the position of the employer. And all I did to get here was have one simple revelation: you’re in control of who you date. It seems like common sense, but many girls fall victim to the mentality that they’d be lucky if this guy or that guy went out with them. No. The guy would be lucky to even get to talk to you.
The next time you go on a first date, keep this dynamic in mind. Ask questions, process the information, and carry the conversation in a way that suggests you know exactly what you’re looking for and you’re sussing him out, just like an employer would with job candidates. By the end of the date, you should have all but said, “Thank you for your time. I’ll be in touch with my decision either way.” But, you know, in your mind.
