11 Signs That You're Being Taken For Granted in Your Relationship
A solid relationship calls for mutual appreciation and respect. If one person is putting in all the work while the other sits back and takes without giving anything in return, it could mean serious trouble ahead. It's only natural for the partner who's feeling undervalued to gain resentment and animosity, as people want to feel appreciated and cared for when in a relationship. But there are plenty of signs that that's not the case.
Your partner can show they're taking you for granted in subtle ways, which might be hard to miss if you're very infatuated or in love with them. If that's the case, you might try to deny that these things are happening or focus only on the good in order to settle with the bad. But nobody should have to settle, ever. If you think your partner might not be reciprocating your feelings or gestures, it's time to stand up. Look to these signs if you're unsure.
They Never Thank You
Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford, forensic psychologist specializing in familial dysfunction and traumatic experience, and marriage and family therapist and certified relationship expert, explains to POPSUGAR that if your partner doesn't ever thank you for doing favors or being a great partner, they're not appreciating you for all you're worth. Likewise, if your partner never acknowledges any of your personal sacrifices for him/her or the relationship, it's a red flag, too.
They Make Huge Demands
If they're making some big demands, like making you spend excess time with them, forgo certain relationships or connections, or prioritize their interests over yours without reciprocating, ditch them now. "If your partner expects and often demands that you contribute more to the relationship than he/she is willing to do, it's a major sign of underappreciation," says Bates-Duford.
They Make All the Plans
If your partner is busy making plans for the two of you without consulting you first and then makes a fuss if you try and arrange something that they may not be super interested in, it's a clear sign that they're taking you for granted, explains Bates-Duford. Instead, you should both be discussing plans and compromising to see inside each other's world as a couple.
They Don't Care to Learn About You
If your partner has no interest in trying activities you love or sharing in moments that matter to you, they're taking you for granted, says Bates-Duford. Plus, if you keep inviting them to spend time with your friends or family and they refuse because they want to be around their network, it shows a selfish disinterest that won't progress your relationship.
Your Partner Spends More Time With Others
They Refuse to Compromise
Relationships require equal work and compromise in order to make both people happy and to show willingness to adapt and care for each other. However, if your partner is refusing to compromise on both big and little issues and always set in their ways, it shows they just string you along without thinking of you as a valued factor in the matter, says Fisher.
You Always Feel Guilty
If your partner is always making you feel insecure, they're probably treating you with inadequate appreciation. "If you're constantly feeling guilt — the feeling you may be hurting or harming someone else, especially in the absence of doing anything intentionally hurtful — a person may be taking advantage of your sensitivity and compassion for others," Carrie Krawiec, LMFT, tells POPSUGAR.
They Take Forever to Text You Back
"If your partner used to respond very quickly to messages or always answered calls but have been less responsive lately, that's another sign they might be taking you for granted," Anna Morgenstern, dating coach and matchmaker, explains to POPSUGAR. If the communication has waned, they aren't keeping you at the top of their minds. And they should be!
They Aren't Affectionate
If your partner is less affectionate than usual, it's also a sign they're taking you for granted. Besides, that spark should still be there in a happy relationship. "Physical touch is really important in a relationship, and it helps reassure both people that the connection is still there," says Morgenstern. "When that starts to decrease, it can cause the other person to feel hurt and confused and definitely taken for granted."
They Criticize Your Quirks
Maybe your partner used to love the way you chewed your gum or how you laughed during a movie, but if now it's an annoyance, they're not appreciating you for you the way they used to. "You might notice your partner finding your little quirks less cute. In fact, they might even annoy them. That's definitely a sign they are taking you for granted," says Morgenstern.
They Never Include You in Plans
If you're never invited to a night out with friends or when the family comes in for a visit, it means they don't value you as an important enough person in their life that they want around and want people to know better, explains Morgenstern. You should be with someone who wants to make you a part of their lives and allow relationships to build in order to see a future.