Skip Nav
Disney
Attention, Disney-Lovers — There's a Matching Rose Gold Fanny Pack to Go With Your Mouse Ears
Kid Rooms
These Zip-Up Bedding Sets Mean Making the Bed Takes Seconds (Hello, Independent Kids!)
Halloween Costumes 2018
9 Fortnite Costumes That'll Encourage Your Kid to Put Down the Game and Trick-or-Treat
Tweens and Teens
28 Gifts For 11-Year-Olds That They'll Absolutely Love
Woman Wears Vaccines Cause Adults Shirt
Little Kids
This Pediatrician's Straight-to-the-Point Shirt Is Just Another Reason You Should Vaccinate Your Kids

Why You Should Be Your Kid's Friend as Well as Their Mom

Yes, I'm My Daughters' Friend as Well as Their Mom, and I Don't Feel Bad About It

As a mom of three daughters, I've always believed the best way to know them is to play with them. Just last night, I sifted through their collection of Shopkins and told them which ones I do and don't like, because that's what they wanted to do. For an hour. Earlier in the day, we played Uno. Before that, we went on a walk in search of dragonflies. And somewhere in between this never-ending cycle of Shopkins and Uno, my 7-year-old confided that she's scared she'll never lose her tooth, which admittedly has been hanging by a thread for weeks.

I want my daughters to always feel comfortable coming to me with their concerns. And the best way to ensure I'm the person whose help they seek is to be their friend as well as their mom.

Sure, their problems are small now, but one day, those problems will get bigger. Instead of worrying her tooth is going to dangle in the front of her mouth forever, my daughter will feel peer pressure to do things like drink alcohol, try drugs, or have sex. She'll face stress at school. She'll experience heartbreak and bullying. When any of those things happen, I want my daughters to always feel comfortable coming to me with their concerns. And the best way I know to ensure I'm the person whose help they seek is to be their friend as well as their mom.

For me, being a friend to my girls means taking an active interest in what they enjoy doing, whether it's Barbies, sports, or, thank goodness, watching Bachelor in Paradise. It means talking about what they want to talk about. Being their friend is about staying immersed in their world for as long as they'll have me; knowing about their friends, what's going on in school, who the kids in their class are, what songs they like, and if a new dance trend is taking over YouTube.

Of course, I want my daughters to make lots of friends their own age so they have a support team to help lift them up if things get rough. But I hope I'm always one of my daughters' best friends. But I'm realistic, too. I understand old mom won't be as hip as friends their age; I think my lingo gives that away! But I'll still never stop trying to stay cool enough for them to want me around.

Ultimately, I think being my daughters' friend is key to maintaining our close relationships as they grow up. I also know when to be their mom and put the friend hat aside. Just because I'm close with my girls doesn't mean we don't have rules in our house, or that there are not consequences for bad behavior. My daughters must respect me as their mother and listen when I enforce time outs or demand they don't talk back to me. As long as they remember who's in charge, I'm totally ready for the next impromptu dance party or to brainstorm about how to get those boys to stop chasing them at recess.

From Our Partners
Are You Eating Too Fast?
Dad Changes Son's Diaper on His Lap in Public Bathroom
My Child With a Disability Keeps Proving People Wrong
What I Want My Son's Employer to Know About His Disability
Can Stress Make PCOS Worse?
Why Miranda Bailey Is the Best Grey's Anatomy Character
Easy Ways to Calm Kids Down
Morning Routine For 3-Year-Old
Parenting a Strong-Willed Child
How to Wear Dresses For Fall 2018
How I Support Latino Representation in Hollywood
Gingham Dress at Fashion Week
From Our Partners
Latest Moms
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds