Colleen (who asked to be identified by her first name only), now 40, had just stepped down from a full-time position into a part-time role when she was surprised with a pregnancy at the age of 38.
She had been working for about a year as a social worker for a small woman-owned business in northern Virginia when she lost her pregnancy. Colleen, a mother of three boys, was just entering the fifth month of pregnancy with what would have been her only baby girl, whom she planned to name Nora, in April 2017.
"It was absolutely devastating when I got the news that I had lost her during a routine appointment," Colleen said. She said she had no reason to think there was any issue with her pregnancy and had even told her husband he didn't have to come for this checkup, but luckily for some reason, he did.
"I knew that when they didn't point the screen toward me during the ultrasound that there was something wrong," she said.
It was a workday for Colleen, who was part of a team of geriatric care managers. She had told them very early on that she was expecting, because in that role, there would sometimes be environmental hazards that she could come in contact with, and those would have to be avoided.
"When I got the news, I called my supervisor and told her what I had scheduled, and that I just couldn't [come into work]," Colleen said. "They just said, 'OK, we'll take care of it.'"
That evening, Colleen called the owner of the work group and told her she wouldn't be in for the next week, despite her worry about time off without pay.
"I was working very part time, and it was great because it was very flexible with great work-life balance, but I had absolutely no paid leave," she said. "I was lucky to work for a company that I knew would be supportive — I got flowers the next day from management — but my biggest concern was whether I could afford to take this time off."
Colleen was part of a group of eight to 10 other women who worked in the same role she did, and while she wasn't worried about losing her job, she had no wage replacement option for time away.
"I would've liked a second week off," she said. "The week I did take off was centered around procedures that needed to be done, and was very logistical, so I didn't get to deal with the emotional piece right away. But for my family at the time, it was better that I go back."
She didn't have medical benefits, but her husband did, and together they had a total household income of about $170,000 at the time.
"I would have stayed in my previous position if we knew we might be having more kids," Colleen said. "A day of sick leave here and there would have been helpful following the initial week. But I will say, as difficult and life changing as this loss was, I found it to be much more bearable because of the company I worked for at the time."
Colleen's oldest son is 9. She also has a 7-year-old, and her youngest son just turned 4. Based on her due date, her daughter would have turned 2 on Sept. 27.
