I Tried Marilyn Monroe's Entire Skin-Care Routine, and Mr. President, I Have Feelings

Next, Laszlo described how to use the Limited Edition Shake-It Tinted Treatment ($34, originally $49). "Apply well-shaken Normalizer Shake-It on entire face — except around eyes — with a large piece of cotton saturated to the dripping point. Blot off with tissues immediately," he wrote. You should note that this is a very strong toner mixed with a sort of color-corrector base layer of makeup — it has a strong smell and will sting your eyes if you swipe too close. Definitely take a less-is-more approach to applying this one.

The original eye cream that Laszlo prescribed to Monroe — the Erno Laszlo pHelitone Eye Cream — has since been discontinued, so I swapped in Erno Laszlo Ocuphel Emollient Eye Cream ($83, originally $118). He said to apply the eye cream in "tiny dots" before spreading across the undereye area. This one has a nice, silky texture that sinks into the delicate skin quite quickly.

As you can see, it's definitely on the minimal makeup side with little coverage — I'm guessing Laszlo intended it more as a base rather than as a full look. If it were me, I'd add a bit of blush, some highlighter, and perhaps Monroe's signature winged eyeliner if I was actually going anywhere. It's also definitely on the matte side, so if you're more into an ultradewy finish, this might not be for you.

And now, onto the evening routine!

I'm a big fan of cleansing oils, so the Erno Laszlo Phelityl Pre-Cleansing Oil ($41, originally $58) was right up my alley. Laszlo wrote that the oil should be applied to the face and neck with a large piece of cotton "saturated to the dripping point." Then, wash off the oil using the Phelityl Cleansing Bar in the same way as the morning cleanse.

Be warned: this is a true-to-life oil, meaning it's thicker than what you're probably used to. Definitely follow it up with the cleansing bar if you're not into feeling oily all night.

The Erno Laszlo Active Phelityl Intensive Cream ($62, originally $88) lives up to its name — it's intense AF. It's not for the faint of heart; it's more like a balm than a cream and has a distinct '50s-esque powdery perfume to it — an indication that these products were certainly of the times. Definitely stick to Laszlo's recommendation on how to use it. He said to apply the cream to your face, lips, neck, and décolleté. Then, "wash off immediately with a large piece of cotton saturated to the dripping point with well-shaken Controlling Lotion — except around eyes and on lips where you shall blot cream off with tissues."

Once you've dried your face, use the Erno Laszlo Light Controlling Lotion ($48, originally $68) once again. He said to "reapply on nose and chin with another throughly saturated large piece of cotton, covering thickly and let dry overnight." In classic '50s fashion, this toner is super strong and reminiscent of an astringent. You may want to break from Laszlo's prescribed routine if your skin is on the dry side and follow up the toner with a hydrating moisturizer or facial oil.