12 Ways Parents Can Strengthen the Bond Their Kids Already Share

Having your kids work together to solve a tough problem can help them learn to collaborate and discover each other's strengths. The payoff here can be big; the more they act as a team to get out of a sticky situation, the better they will learn to work together and lean into their siblings' capabilities. The "problem" in this situation doesn’t have to be a real one — it could be a trip to a local escape room, a family-friendly orienteering challenge, or even a team-building game or scavenger hunt you create for them.

Similar to problem solving, when kids work together to complete a project, they are pretty much obligated to sharpen up their ability to share, their teamwork, and their communication skills. Once the project is complete, whether it's putting together a difficult Lego set or figuring out how to set up a tent, not only will they have learned more about how to best work together but they will be able to celebrate a job well done.

It's difficult for kids to tap into their own conflict resolution skills if we break up every little argument for them. Instead of immediately intervening, stay within earshot and only step in if the disagreement becomes violent, if anyone turns to bullying, or if you feel the argument isn't going anywhere. Outside of that, you can act as a mediator to try and move things along, while still allowing your kids to reach an agreement on the issue at hand. Over time, they should be able to more easily get through their disagreements and get back to being friends.

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Rather than taking them to Target at the last minute to pick out a birthday or holiday gift for their sibling, plan a time to sit down with your child and discuss what kind of present they might like to get for their sibling. You can drive the conversation by asking them about some of their sibling's favorite things — colors, activities, sports, books, and animals, just to name a few — and then helping them brainstorm the perfect gift (maybe even a surprise visit somewhere they'll love) based on what they know about their sibling. If they don't know what their sibling likes, this would be a great time to have them ask and find out.

All children want to feel special, but sometimes all they see are their sibling's strengths and their own perceived shortcomings. As parents, it's important to make each child feel special by celebrating what is unique about them, while also making sure they know you love them each equally and because of their differences. The love and appreciation your children receive from you will spill over into their relationships with their siblings.

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This one is fun for the parents, too, and will take a little planning on your part. Put together a family field day where the parents partner up against the kiddos. It doesn't have to be superextravagant; backyard games like a water balloon toss, three-legged race, tug-o-war, and a wheelbarrow race are all you need for a little healthy competition that will leave your kids feeling like a team — even after the games are over.

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Shared experiences between siblings (read: when mom and dad aren't around) can go a long way in building a lasting bond because they'll learn to navigate the waters of independence together. Maybe you aren’t ready to send your kids off to sleepaway camp just yet, but you can check into day camps or kids' activities in your community on the weekends or during school breaks.

As important as togetherness is for siblings to bond, a little time apart can be helpful, too. Once a month, schedule some one-on-one time with each of your children. While you have a few hours of their undivided attention, nonchalantly ask for a quick check-in on school, their friends, and their siblings. It may give you the chance to help them let go of anything they've been holding in so they have one less sibling-related worry when they get home.

As children grow (especially in their teenage years), it is important that they have their own space. Too much space, though, and they can quickly shut themselves off from their siblings. If your kids share a room, make sure there is also a part of the house where they can get a little privacy, like a reading nook in the office or a play tent in the living room. If your children have separate rooms, encourage a little family togetherness in a common area of the house (game night would be a perfect place to start).

Sometimes you need to step back and let your older kids show the younger ones the ropes. It can be tempting, for example, to oversee every little detail of the first day of school, but depending on their ages, you can talk with your older kids about overseeing the tradition of bus-riding, locker-finding, and cafeteria-lunch-ordering when the kids start school. Your younger kids will look up to the older ones for guidance, while the older children will take on the role of mentor and protector.

When kids are close in age, they often end up in the same activities and even have a lot of the same friends. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, pay attention to how your kids react to these situations. If you sense they feel the need to branch out, give them the space to make their own friends and join a club or team that their sibling isn’t a part of. Having a bit more of their own identity may help them to appreciate what they do share with their sibling even more.