Things You Actually Learn About Parenting From Your Favorite Movies and TV Shows

"When your coffin is under my roof, you have to follow my rules."

"Take a break from fighting off Borg warships to play ball whenever you can."

"Whether you’re three apples high or three feet tall, respect your elders."

"Be sure to have 'the talk' before stuff gets cataclysmic."

"At least frickin’ listen to them, OK?"

"Sharing your life’s soundtrack with your kids is awesome."

"Don’t try to force your kids to follow in your footsteps."

"Think carefully about the precious things your kids will inherit."

"We should savor life’s sweetness, with or without a golden ticket."

"Keep a diary or treasure box of the hidden gems you want them to explore someday."

"Raise boys who respect women — not just as queens but as people."

"It takes a Giles to get the most out of Google."

"Let them play with their food — in the kitchen."

"Encourage your kids not to hide in the broom closet. Whatever kind of witches they are, they can own their power."

"If you want them to help save the earth, you have to teach them to love the earth."

"Take-your-child-to-work day is one of the more important traditions for a superparent to honor."

"Even kindergarteners have the power to help save the day."

"Find an alternate universe where you don’t repeat your parents’ mistakes."

"There’s the family you’re born with, and then there’s the family you climb on board ship with."

"The moral of today’s story is: make time to laugh."

"It doesn’t take a blood connection to love a child as your own princess."

"You may picture the perfect parents in your mind’s eye — but there’s no such thing."

"Boredom can open magic doors to adventure."

"Whatever Kansas your teen lives in, it feels like a black-and-white town stifling their technicolor soul."

"Always question your commitment to Sparkle Motion."

"You have a magic bag of tricks . . . use it!"

"Read to them."

"Dance, dance, Senora."

"Be an avatar of the principles you want your child to learn."

"If they’re creepy and they’re kooky, then you’re the one who’s lucky."

"Don’t let your royal heir try to push around the Seven kingdoms."

"You don’t need a time machine to create a better future."

"Clothes don’t make the hero, character does. But still, dress for success."

"A girl with a sword isn’t a 'Tomboy.' She’s a girl. With a sword."