Why Finding a Babysitter Feels Just Like Online Dating

Keep in mind that you're looking for someone who you feel comfortable leaving your kids with so you can relax when you leave them. This isn't going to happen with every single person you meet so don't get too bummed out in the process, but also remember that nobody you interview is going to be as good with your kids as you are!

Nobody enjoys the texting game, whether you’re a single gal wondering how long to wait before responding to the guy from Friday night or a mom holding out hope for a babysitter. Just like you don't have time for them to wait and see if they get a better offer before committing to Saturday night, the worst thing you could do is cancel on your babysitter at the last minute.

This is someone you're seeing on average a few times a month — not your child's future stepparent. You want to get to know your sitter and build mutual trust, but you have to know the limits. Just like you expect them not to be going through your underwear drawer, you shouldn't ask them to do a deep clean of their entire home or in-depth details about their current relationship status.

The time when your sitter cancels on you and then you see her walking out of the movie theater with another family's kids will sting. But you can't take it too personally unless you're completely underpaying her and asking her to wash and fold your dirty clothes.

It is certainly stressful for both parties when you first start your childcare courtship after meeting online. You're inviting someone into your home to take care of your kids, and she's entering a total stranger's house without family or friends to validate that you're at least somewhat normal.

Friends don’t steal fun-loving, responsible babysitters or significant others from friends — but all is fair in love and childcare.

You finally find someone who looks like the perfect match! She has her driver's license and access to a car, she goes to a good school, and she's even CPR certified. But since she isn't being recommended by a mutual friend or family member, you have absolutely no idea if she even exists — or if it's really too good to be true.

Even before meeting for the first time, you have to keep old relationships in the past. You have to start with a fresh mindset, and not only trust that she isn't going to swipe a bottle of gin from your liquor cabinet the minute you leave but also just that she's going to show up on time.

Sometimes it doesn't work out because she's just not that into you (or your kiddos). Whether she stopped responding to your messages on Sittercity or never texted you back after your first meeting, it can hurt when you thought you found "the one" and the feeling isn't mutual.

Other times, you're the one who has to cut ties, and that doesn't make it any easier. The classic "It's not you, it's me" line can go over just as badly with your 15-year-old babysitter as it did with your college boyfriend, but some relationships just aren't meant to be.

You might have to sit through more than a handful of Starbucks "meetups" or in-home interviews, but once you find that perfect caregiver for your kids, it will be worth it for some stress-free nights out.

There’s no way to know if this is going to be a short-term or long-term relationship with your babysitter, but you want to play it cool at first. If you become too clingy too soon, you'll have her wondering what terrible thing your kids did to the last sitter to drive her away. Plus, you have to keep in mind that she could join a new club or get a boyfriend and her availability might drastically change. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the time to get to know her and make sure she feels welcome in your home and with your kids so that you are both happy while it lasts.