We Just Found Out These $20,000 Sneakers Are Not an April Fools' Joke

We knew APL sneakers were on the expensive side, with our beloved rose gold running shoes coming in hot at $185 . . . but that's just the tip of the luxury-footwear iceberg.

Painted in literal 24K gold on "Nile crocodile skin," these "handmade in Italy" sneakers are the footwear equivalent of printing your bank statement and taping it to your feet like wrapping paper — but classier (maybe).

The APL Lusso Supreme in Black/Pure Gold has a return policy of "you can't" and takes 12 weeks to make, via special order. What does one do in $20,000 24K gold Nile crocodile handmade Italian training shoes? Play basketball from a helicopter? Do HIIT on a yacht's rooftop off the coast of St. Barts? Try antigravity calisthenics in outer space because you probably can afford to leisurely participate in NASA field trips if you can also afford $20,000 sneakers?

It's a two-for-one deal, sort of, as "each order will include a complimentary pair of leather Lussos," which retail for $350 (basically Payless prices compared to the gold ones).

Perhaps they're an investment, like a Birkin, that will appreciate in value over time. Who can say? Regardless, you're not going to get a discount on these bad boys because APL lets it be known that "This item excluded from all coupon codes."