The Cotton Ball Diet
This diet is for those of you who enjoyed eating paper as a child! Congrats, you're moving up to the big leagues! With this diet you eat a cotton ball (or two, or five) before each meal in hopes of filling more full prior to divulging in this now paper-tasting meal.
And, if you really want to add a kick of flavor try letting your cotton ball absorb some good ol' OJ, your favorite smoothie, or lemonade before eating them. Mmmm, don't we just have a knack for delicious dinner recipes? All jokes aside, eating anything other than food can block the intestines ... not sure (don't want to find out) what happens when your intestines get blocked, but sounds pretty shitty. The worst part? Cotton balls aren't just made out of cotton but bleach and synthetic fibers — need I say more?