9 Questions You've Been Afraid to Ask Your Gynecologist but Absolutely Should

We should be doing self exams regularly, but we sometimes don't know how and are afraid to ask. "Doctors often ask women if they are performing at-home breast exams on themselves. I'm often met with a quick 'yep' in response," says Tara Nayak, ND, a naturopathic doctor with a private practice in Philadelphia. "However, I really hope that women that have never been taught will ask their docs and lead the charge for early detection!"

Sexual anxiety, pain, or discomfort — or lack of desire — are awkward to talk about but important to discuss. "I wish more of my patients felt comfortable asking about painful intercourse and problems with sexual desire and climax," says San Diego-based gynecologist Christine Sterling. "Forty percent of women have sexual concerns, but very few bring it to the attention of their ob/gyn. We have resources to offer and knowledge to impart but many are too nervous to ask," says Sterling.

No, urinary incontinence or leaking is not normal but it does happen. "Although not usually a serious condition, it can significantly affect quality of life," says Gerardo Bustillo, MD, OB/GYN at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, CA. The most common reasons include an overactive bladder and anatomical changes that are correctable with minor surgery or use of a pessary, he says.

"Vaginal dryness is most often the result of insufficient estrogen effect on the vaginal wall and is quite common in menopause," says Dr. Bustillo. "There are a variety of potential treatments, including lubricants, local estrogen treatment to the vagina (in the form of creams, vaginal pills, or a vaginal estrogen ring), and an oral estrogen pill, which targets primarily the vaginal lining, while not stimulating other tissues such as the breasts. There is also a vaginal laser procedure called Mona Lisa Touch, which is effective and drug-free," says Dr. Bustillo.

As women age, sexual interest may normally diminish. This may not cause a problem in the relationship, if the woman's partner has a decreased libido as well. "If the woman's partner continues to have a strong sex drive, this may cause tension in the relationship — in this situation, communication between the partners is key. Discussing this with the gynecologist may offer some solutions," says Dr. Bustillo.

"I've discovered that many women have concerns about the appearance of their vulva and vagina," says Dr. Sterling. "I wish more women would express their concerns so that we could offer them reassurance. I've had a number of patients tell me that they have been concerned for years about the shape, color, or contour of their labia before bringing it up in a visit," says Dr. Sterling.

This is, it seems, gravity at work. "What comes out is semen, the extra fluid that doesn't make a difference in getting pregnant," says Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, reproductive health expert. "The sperm cells swim upstream into the cervical canal into the uterus."

Ask your doctor this question, and don't be afraid. "There are patients who should not have sex during pregnancy (with a known placenta previa, for example)," says Dr. Eyvazzadeh. So get your doctor's prescription for sex during pregnancy. And if they say no, ask about orgasms. Outercourse never hurt a baby!

Yes! You're a raging hormone machine. "It's very normal, especially in the beginning, to notice a change in your sexual desires and even dreams," says Dr. Eyvazzadeh.