9 Honest-to-God, Hilarious Thoughts I've Had While Running

"Something is definitely going on in my right foot. (It was plantar fasciitis.) This is probably going to be my last time running ever. How will I work out? WTF else can I do that helps me release endorphins like this? Should I start swimming? I literally do not know how to swim, and nothing makes me feel as happy as I am right now, even though I'm in pain, so screw that idea. I'm going to run forever, no matter how much it hurts . . . Oh, ow."