7 Ways to Check In With Your Asian American Friends Without Saying, "How Are You Doing?"

Getting defensive ("but I'm not racist") centers your own experience and takes the focus off of the real issue: racism and your friend's experience with it. If you're white, accept that you live a different racial reality than people of color and know that "it may be hard to believe something you have not experienced personally," Mai and Whitlock said. Is your first reaction to rule out racism? If so, ask yourself why and how your experience as a non-AAPI person is informing that.