Donovan thinks of herself as an "older sister figure," as opposed to a teacher or a parent. "I'm not anyone who's here to judge you or tell you how to be," she explained. In fact, she was hesitant to share advice at first, because "so much advice directed at people with ADHD is how to fix them, how to make them more palatable for other people."
It can feel condescending as well as unhelpful, she said, to hear tips like: people with ADHD struggle with routines, so it's really important to have a good routine. "Like, no sh*t," Donovan said. "That's the problem!"
She learned that there's a difference, between getting advice from someone who has sympathy versus someone who has empathy. "You're more open to listen to someone who has empathy, and who has been there and struggled with what you're doing," Donovan explained. "It's just really validating."
