How to Improve Your Sex Life After Having Kids

1 Try Some Sweet Words

Here's a novel form of foreplay: lay together quietly while he gives you compliments (the more specific the compliments are, the better). You'll instantly feel more connected, which will greatly increase your desire to be intimate.

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2 Hug It Out

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Hugging, giving your partner's shoulder a squeeze, or slinging your legs over them while you're watching TV boosts levels of oxytocin, or "the bonding hormone." My relationship therapist friends have said that nonsexual touching outside the bedroom can lead to more sexual touching in the bedroom.

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3 Aim For Once a Week (That's Doable, Right?)

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Believe it or not, couples who have sex just once a week are happiest, according to a long-term study of over 30,000 people. Another survey of sex researchers by the Sexual Health and Relationships Lab at the University of Toronto found that the optimum length for sex is a mere 7-13 minutes. Even the most fried parents can manage seven minutes a week.

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4 Have the More Deprived Partner Up Their Game

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Research shows that during the first year of parenthood among straight couples, men are less satisfied with their sex lives. If that's the case in your relationship, he needs to innovate. Have him put the kids to bed a half hour earlier so you don't lose precious sleep time, or give you a killer massage to get you in the mood (and not a halfhearted two-minute shoulder scrunch but a 20-minute one . . . complete with oils).

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5 Kiss Like You Mean It

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Try making out for 15 minutes with no obligation to do anything further. Yes, it's the most obvious reverse psychology in the world, but more often than not, the slow buildup, emotional connection, rich concentration of nerve receptors in our lips, and aura of the forbidden result in some action.

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