Today, friends, we have a holiday miracle to bestow upon you, a cornucopia of blessings. We barely had a hot minute to recover from the emotional meltdown that ensued after seeing all seven of the new Halo Top flavors before freaking the f*ck out again when we realized that a pint of pumpkin freakin' pie was waiting for us to taste, too.
Because we care about you, we wanted to be the first to let you know that no, this is not a vivid hallucination, and yes, Halo Top Pumpkin Pie is in fact real and available this season until the end of November. At only 360 calories per pint, you could annihilate a carton in a single serving, and it's still about the same number of calories as a single slice of pumpkin pie. Let the pumpkin-spiced pandemonium begin.
Pumpkin Pie is a flawless flavor — it unanimously scored five out of five from all taste testers, as we were blown away by its beauty, its glory, its flavor, and its gift to our senses and our health. The taste is not too sweet, not too overpowering, and not even the slightest bit artificial — it's as if you blended an actual pie into a creamy pumpkin milkshake and served it in scoops. It's got a bit of a texture from the pie crust, which makes it not just pumpkin flavor, but pumpkin pie flavor, and we appreciate that attention to detail.
Here's what our (clearly overwhelmed and marveled) taste testers had to say.
- "Oh. My. F*cking. God."
- "Holy sh*t, man."
- "Yum! Love the pie bits!"
- "HALLOWEEN YUMMERZ."
- "OMG! Tastes like Thanksgiving!!"
- "I don't like pumpkin pie, but I LOVE THIS."
- "Lovin' the pie crusts!"
- "SO GOOD!"
- "Tastes just like pumpkin pie! Crazy!"
- "EXACTLY like pumpkin pie."
- "I have never tried a better pumpkin-flavored anything."
- "Today I was reminded that God loves me and I think I saw the face of Jesus."
Now you know what to do: sprint to your local grocer and stock up as if the ice cream apocalypse is upon us. Buy an extra freezer for your garage, and load it with Halo Top Pumpkin Pie. Enjoy!