Thanksgiving Middle Finger T-Shirt
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If your family is anything like mine, on Thanksgiving morning, you will get up and do a Turkey Trot. "It's tradition!" they say, dragging you from your bed and out to the freezing-cold starting line at the local high school. For me, it's not the running that's the problem; it's the predawn wake-up call — on a *holiday* — that makes me question if I should finally start pleading sick, only to make a miraculous recovery right before cocktail hour. After many, many years, though, the best advice I can give is to surrender. This Turkey Trot is your fate. Embrace it. Save your energy for avoiding your great-aunt's prying questions into your personal life.
I'm a believer in the whole "gear makes the race" mentality, so if you're not feeling the Turkey Day 5K (or, God help you, half-marathon), just grab the most spirited attire you can find, and fake it till you make it. Here are seven obnoxiously turkey-themed options to help, from tutus to turkey-drumstick headbands to the classic turkey hat. (Buy tutus for the whole fam, and maybe they'll let you sleep in an extra five minutes?) Happy trotting!