The Unexpected Way My Parents' Divorce Helped Us Achieve the American Dream

I was the first person in my family to be born in the United States, and with that came privileges that the rest of my family did not have — automatic citizenship, for one. My two older brothers and my parents were born in the Dominican Republic. My parents came to the United States in the late '70s, my brothers followed in the early '80s. My parents never learned English, and growing up, I was my mom's personal interpreter. If she needed to go to the bank or the phone company to discuss a bill, she always took me with her.

My parents were married at a very young age, when my mom was only 17. About 15 years later, my parents divorced, freeing them up to marry other people and come to the United States. Honestly, I'm not sure if they were truly having marital issues and the divorce was a "this island is not big enough for the both of us!" kind of thing. They kept the reason a huge secret, and the bits and pieces of the story I heard while quietly eavesdropping changed over the years. Also, they are Christians who do not believe in divorce, and Dominican parents don't like their children to know their business, both of which were probably major factors in their secrecy.

Although I can't tell you the actual reasons for their divorce, I can tell you that they eventually married other people and immigrated to the United States separately. My parents were from a very small rural town in the western area of Dominican Republic; neighbors were family and friends who were considered family. Eventually, as their family and friends immigrated to the United States, they settled in the same area of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. That's where both my parents ended up.

About a year or so after my parents came to the United States, they ended up separating from their respective spouses and started seeing each other again. My mom was still married to her second husband when I arrived in the world on an early December morning. Did you know that New York state law says that if the mother is legally married, the child is legally the husband's child even if she biologically isn't? I ended up with my mom's maiden name as my maiden name. She tells the story about how she refused to give me her second husband's last name, and even though she didn't speak English, she put up enough of a fight that she got her way. (If you knew my mother, that wouldn't be a surprise to you!)

It was difficult for my parents to have a new baby to care for, still be divorced and married to other people, be in a new country where they didn't know the language, and also miss my two brothers, who were behind in the Dominican Republic. My mom started cosmetology school at night when I was about 6 months old, and my dad worked during the day and took care of me at night so my mom could graduate. They saved as much as they could to send back to my brothers, who were staying with friends of family. They chose to celebrate my first birthday in the Dominican Republic so that my brothers could be there on the day.

About a year after that, my brothers were able to join my parents and me in the United States. My parents divorced their spouses eventually. My mom graduated from cosmetology school (without learning English!) and ran a successful hair salon in Brooklyn. Both my parents also worked as taxi drivers in NYC. All the while, they lived together without getting remarried.

Finally, on one of our trips to the Dominican Republic, my parents got remarried. I was about 10 years old at the time and can vividly remember that sunny day. I was sitting in the backseat of my parents' car, my father on the driver's side and my mom in the passenger seat. My mom asked my dad if he was going to change my name. In Spanish he replied, "Why? She will eventually lose it anyway," assuming I would get married.

My parents are believers in timing and the idea that everything happens for a reason. They were permanent residents for 30 years until they finally got their citizenship status just a few years before deciding to retire and move back to the Dominican Republic. For decades, they held on to their beliefs and their culture and allowed me the privilege of spending my Summers in Dominican Republic and sometimes the December holidays as well.

Like other immigrants who have come to the United States, my parents believed in a better opportunity as long as they worked hard for it. They taught me firsthand the meaning of hard work. If anything, they were harder on me because of the privilege that comes with being an American: being educated in the United States, learning English firsthand, and being a citizen. After school, I helped run a business while still completing my fourth grade homework. On Saturdays, I was expected to do my chores, then join my mom at the hair salon. There, I served as interpreter, took appointments, and was responsible for the cash register.

My parents' decision to divorce opened up an opportunity for them that not many people are lucky enough to experience. It provided them with the opportunity to move to the United States, which led to an incredible life for them that they would have never been able to experience in the Dominican Republic. I am extremely fortunate to be born in this country, and at the same time, I am immensely appreciative of my family of immigrants.