A Modern-Day Wedding Etiquette Guide For Engaged Couples

1 Word Your Invites Appropriately

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There are a lot of things that are totally OK to do for your wedding. You can make it an hors d'oeuvres-only event instead of a seated dinner reception or you can impose a formal dress code. But in order to pull these requests off, you need to politely communicate your vision on your wedding invites.

There are plenty of options out there to make your wedding specifics clear — just make sure to do your research to check and see what the standard wording is. For example, if you're trying to request that your guests dress formally, a small "Black Tie Attire Requested" along the bottom of your invite should do the trick.

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2 Address Your Invites Appropriately

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Another thing that's totally OK is to make your wedding an adults-only event. It's also fine not to give every single guest a plus one (though it's generally advised to allow a plus one if that guest has been dating their partner for a while). The best way to communicate who is and isn't invited is to address your invites appropriately. If you're comfortable with inviting kids, for example, place "and Family" after the couple's names on the envelope.

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3 Don’t Throw Your Own Shower

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Throwing your own shower is equivalent to saying "I'm throwing a party so you can buy me presents!" Of course, showers are great, but your family or bridal party should be throwing one in your honor.

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4 Get Creative With Your Registry

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Modern-day couples often have all the housewares they need already, so feel free to get creative with your registry! A honeymoon fund, new house fund, or requested donation to a charity are all fantastic options.

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5 Have a Wedding Website

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It's usually considered bad form to mention your wedding registry on your wedding invites themselves — it's like openly asking for gifts. These days, since news doesn't travel via word of mouth as easily as it used to, it's essential to have a comprehensive wedding website where you can list information about where you're registered, how to get to the ceremony site, accommodation information, etc. so that your guests can easily access all of the relevant information. It also saves you a lot of time by not having to answer questions all the time!

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6 Second Time Around? It’s Still OK to Have a Big Wedding

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If you've been married before, second weddings are more than OK these days. If you feel uncomfortable throwing a huge bash, keep it small. But there's no reason to be shy about starting this new phase of your life.

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7 Wear Whatever You Want

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Gone are the days when every bride had to look the same. Nowadays, you can wear whatever you want! White isn't reserved for first-time brides, and any color of the rainbow goes — and if you don't want to wear a dress at all, no pressure! Wear whatever makes you feel amazing.

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8 Be Polite About Religious Differences

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If you and your partner follow a different religion than your families (or, by contrast, if you're secular and your families are religious), there's absolutely nothing to stop you from doing this ceremony your way. But if you know there are going to be people from different religious backgrounds in attendance, have a conversation with your officiant about making sure everyone feels comfortable and that no one is made to feel ostracized.

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9 Be Conscientious of Digital Privacy

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The fact is, not everyone wants a picture of themselves letting loose on the dance floor going public on social media. Be polite about digital privacy and don't tag your guests in photos unless you've specifically checked with them to make sure it's OK. And on the flip side, if you want your special day to be extra private, don't hesitate to ask your guests to keep their phones tucked away on the wedding invitations with a simple "No Social Media Posts Please."

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10 Keep It Civil

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While you may strongly disagree with a family member when it comes to politics, now isn't the time to bring it up. Avoid mentioning any testy issues at your wedding. Your guests shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable, especially because they've spent a lot of time and money investing in your big day.

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11 Give a Small Favor

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Your guests have come a long way and spent a lot of money to celebrate your big day, so it's important to thank them with a small favor. It doesn't have to be big, and it can even be a very budget-friendly DIY, but it should be something to show your gratitude.

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12 Promptly Send Thank You Cards

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Finally, send your thank you cards within three months of your wedding. Every guest deserves to be thanked for whatever they've contributed to your big day, whether it was a lavish gift or simply the gift of their presence at your ceremony.

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