Every Gruesome Death From American Horror Story: Hotel

Hotel's first casualty is one of its most disturbing. Detective Lowe enters a crime scene, only to find this couple stuck nailed to the bed and literally glued to each other. It's our first experience witnessing the work of the Ten Commandments Killer. These people are cheating on their respective spouses with each other, and though they're both impaled (and the man's eyes and tongue have been cut out), only the woman is dead. Which commandment did they break? "You shall not commit adultery."

Gabriel has a terrible last trip. After being raped with a conical dildo, he gently passes away after telling Hypodermic Sally that he loves her. You may be saying, "Wait, doesn't he wake up later under Detective Lowe's bed?" He does, but go back and watch this part. He definitely takes a final breath and dies with his eyes wide open. Somehow, something in the Cortez brings him back to life.

Donovan and the Countess pick up these two winners at a movie in the park. The film that's playing, Bram Stoker's Dracula, is spot on, considering how the rest of the night goes.

What a terrible vacation this girl and her friend have. Once she escapes her torture chamber, she encounters the Countess, who promptly slits her throat.

The Ten Commandment Killer strikes again! This time, he murders two men who are later referred to as "The Rylance Twins." Detective Lowe's daughter encounters them, crucified with their organs pulled out over two beds. In the second episode, John hypothesizes that they had killed their parents, and thus had violated the commandment to honor thy mother and father.

Clearly Hypodermic Sally is still upright and walking, but back in 1994, Iris pushes her out of a window at the Cortez and the fall either kills her, or it should have. Evan Peters has confirmed that she's a ghost, but it's unclear whether that's when she dies, or if she's already a ghost when he falls and then just goes about her daily business.

Donovan is the second victim of that day. He overdoses on the drugs that Sally gives him, and his mother walks in on the Countess lusting after his jawline. Given that they are the show's reigning, blood-sucking couple, we can assume that Lady Gaga brings him back from the dead and turns him into whatever she is.

The second episode brings loads of death. The second Swedish tourist dies after being drained of blood by the Countess's "children."

In a flashback, John tells Sally about the last day he drank. It was after viewing a murder scene in which a father inadvertently poisons his children with carbon monoxide. Here are the two smallest victims.

And here is their sister.

The father had shot himself in the head.

Enter Mr. March! When the traumatized Tristan refuses to pull the trigger on a lady of the night, Mr. March does it himself.

After this guy questions Mr. March about the secret passageways in his plans for the Hotel Cortez, Mr. March takes him to his "office" and viciously stabs him in the neck.

Mr. March basically just strings this girl up in a wall to die. He tries to stuff a hankie in her mouth, but his mysterious wife (the Countess, maybe?) takes it out and tells him that she likes to watch.

This is perhaps the most brutal death of them all. Mr. March rapes this woman while methodically slashing her across the stomach and chest.

Death by hammer and six-story garbage/body chute drop.

This man dies the same way, but he has a more interesting scene. He's praying when Mr. March comes for him, and they have a brief talk about religion. The man claims that as long as God is alive, people like Mr. March will never be at peace. Mr. March responds by saying he'll just have to kill God then.

Cut to these six illegal workers slaughtered with their hands cut off. Years in the future, John suspects that it's the early work of the Ten Commandments Killer and that the men were killed for working on a Sunday, God's day.

When they're finally cornered, Mr. March shoots a giddy Miss Evers in the head.

He then slashes his own throat.

The final death of the second episode is this bearded man who just thought he was coming to get lucky with Tristan. Then Tristan stabs him in the neck and drinks his blood.

The third episode, "Mommy," opens with Mr. March impaling a man in one of his many hidden rooms.

Model Claudia (guest star Naomi Campbell) is attacked by Gabriel while she's just trying to take a nap. He subsequently murders her.

The attack is too much to handle. Gabriel dies again after telling John that he killed the wrong person, and that it's Sally's fault.

The Ten Commandments Killer is still at it! He murders an entire office full of gossip reporters for violating the "thou shalt not bear false witness" commandment.

Donovan gets into a big fight with his mom and drowns his sorrows in junkie blood. Sad.

The Countess sabotages Ramona's romance with Mo by shooting him in the face after Ramona turns him.

Oh, she also murders his whole crew.

Iris copes with her fight with Donovan by enlisting Sally to help her commit suicide. Donovan finds her close to death, and opens up his own vein to save her. Get ready for vampire Iris!

On the first of the two Halloween episodes, "Devil's Night," serial killer Richard Ramirez bludgeons this man to death with a lamp, before turning to his wife. She manages to escape . . . and run into Mr. March's firm grasp.

Alex brings her son home, but while she's getting juice for him, he feeds on the family dog.

Sally grabs this sacrificial lamb on the street and gives him to the killers, who stab him to death.

Remember the kid whose parents refused to vaccinate him? Alex turns him into a vampire and he feeds on them.

The kid's teacher just wants to help, and she ends up dead in a pool of her own blood. Thanks, Vampire Kid.

The Countess slashes these guys' throats after they harass Liz Taylor, their (former) coworker. That's what you get for being intolerant!

After serving them cat food as paté, Iris murders these two awful hipsters (Glee's Darren Criss and Jessica Lu) with a corkscrew.

In one of the many flashbacks, we see the Countess going to Charles Montgomery for a procedure in 1925. His nurse is an unfortunate casualty of her new baby, though we only see her bloodied body through the Countess's blurred vision.

Cara is a ghost who haunts the halls of the Hotel Cortez. Years ago, she commits suicide in the bathtub, and it took weeks before someone discovered her rotting corpse.

The Swedish tourists, now haunting the Hotel Cortez as well, kill this gentleman with an ice pick.

The Ten Commandments Killer murders this televangelist, pouring his guts out on an altar and dispersing coins on them.

After discovering that Liz Taylor and Tristan are in love, the Countess daintily slits Tristan's throat.

These dudes just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They open up the tomb in which Mr. March has been hiding Valentino and his wife for nearly a century. They're vampires, so they're not dead — just very, very thirsty.

She was able to cross seasons, yet Marcy couldn't make it to the end of Hotel. Sad.

After escaping her high-security cell with John Lowe, the mysterious Ren steps in front of an oncoming truck.

John, aka the Ten Commandments Killer(!), bludgeons him with it.

John kills his partner while trying to convince him that he is, indeed, the Ten Commandments Killer.

Iris murders these disrespectful porn stars who are shooting a movie in the hotel.

Ramona puts her father out of his misery after she realizes that when you're as old as he is, being a vampire is basically useless.

Ramona also kills Will, after he marries the Countess.

This old couple visits the hotel for the sweetest double suicide you've ever seen.

Rudolph brings a sword to a gun fight with Donovan. He loses.

Rudolph's wife, Natacha, is killed by the Countess in the same exact way.

Another one of Mr. March's victims.

Kids these days don't even know how to get good blood to quench their thirst! This girl dies either by a side effect of being infected, or by blood withdrawal.