9 Honest-to-God, Hilarious Thoughts I've Had While Running

"Where is my Greek yogurt? I am definitely putting extra honey and nuts on it this morning, and for dinner I am getting boneless wings, and I'm going to eat them all by myself while watching Netflix. Is anyone in the shower? If you're in the shower — Mom! — get out of the shower so I can rinse off the sweat, put on pajamas, and start eating."